I believe with all my heart that discipline is one the hardest issues to face as a parent. We live in a world where there are so many “experts” who truly believe that we should allow our kids to shape their own character. They think if parents are too hard on their children it may keep them from becoming who they want to be.
Discipline has been given a bad name because of people who were abusive to their children. We now live in a society full of people who are afraid to raise their children. The result is that children are not given any real guidance or structure, children not only need these things, they want them. As parents we must first understand that we have been given a responsibility from God to raise our children His way. We have to understand that we all have a ministry, not just pastors, evangelists, teachers, prophets, and missionaries. There is another title out there that is overlooked and misunderstood; the title of parent.
A parent has a great ministry. This is the first ministry of every person who is called “mommy” or “daddy”. The Bible is full of teaching that will strengthen us all as “Ministers to our Children”. I have found several passages in God’s Word that are very clear instructions on parenting, from these verses I would like to give you some simple “Tips in Discipline” that I believe will be life changing truth in how you relate to your kids. Please understand that these truths challenged me too as I studied and prepared this segment!
1. Discipline your kids out of love.
We have to understand that “Biblical discipline” is an act of love. Not frustration, or anger, or any other uncontrolled emotion. The Bible says in Ephesians 6 to “…be angry and sin not”! Never let discipline come out of anger! Whatever the method you use is, wait until you are able to “take action” out of love! Those uncontrolled emotions are the root of what gave discipline a bad reputation and caused parents to be afraid to give spankings or be firm enough to let a child cry in a “time-out” session. Just choosing not to discipline at all is just another form of abuse, it is neglect! The Bible says in Proverbs 13:24 “A refusal to correct is a refusal to love; love your children by disciplining them.” (The Message)
2. Consistency is the key.
We must learn to be consistent in discipline. If you tell “little Johnny” that there will be no television tonight because he did not listen to mommy, but then you “change your mind” you are sending the wrong message. Never send a message that disobedience is acceptable. Sin came into the world riding on the coat-tails of an act of disobedience to God. Our Heavenly Father loves us in a much greater way than we are even able to love our children, and He was and is always consistent. God told Adam & Eve “You must not eat it (the forbidden fruit) or even touch it; if you do, you will die”. They did die. They were separated from God and now needed something to pay for their sins, Jesus had to come and die to reunite them with the God who loved them enough to do as He said He would. The Bible says, “let your yes be yes, and your no be no.” This sends a message to your children that you mean what you say, whether it is a threat of discipline or a promise to Disney World, always mean what you say and follow through.
3. Keep your kids on the right path.
Discipline is an act of love that keeps our children on the right path. They need to know when their actions are wrong by some kind of correction. On the other hand, children who are always corrected or punished but never encouraged will most of the time become frustrated and begin to think they are unable to please their parents. Something that Pastor Scott has said on this subject is to give your children twice as many hugs & kisses as you give spankings. You cannot do one and not the other; you cannot only be a “drill sergeant” who always corrects, nor can you be a “best friend” who believes that their children can do no wrong. The key is to be loving in correction with the purpose of keeping your kids on the right path. Proverbs 22:15 says “A youngster’s heart is filled with foolishness, but physical discipline will drive it far away.” NLT (Also see Proverbs 19:18; 23:13-14; 3:11-12)
4. Set your kids up for Success
As hard as it seems at times to be the firm disciplinarian, sometimes labeled by the other parent as the “Bad Guy”, this is the parent who will be setting up their children for success! The Bible says “To discipline a child produces wisdom…” (Proverbs 29:15) Discipline is preparing our kids for real life! The other half of that verse tells us what will happen without discipline. “…but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child.” Have you ever been around an “unruly child” in a public place? My heart is always broken for the child, because they will grow up this way with no direction and it is not their fault. They are being set up for failure. God wants His children to succeed in life and He disciplines, chastises, corrects, and loves us onto the road of prosperity and always sets us up for success in His Kingdom.
5. Have a healthy & happy family.
Proverbs 29:17 says “Discipline your children and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad.” The duty of the “Parent” is no easy task. Sometimes we can know that we’ve done everything right and still our children don’t seem to get it. But God has a “blueprint” for us to follow in parenting and He is true to His Word. I believe that we all want to be the best parents we can be and we certainly desire peace in our homes. As we grow and learn in this great task together, I hope that we can continue to encourage each other, pray for each other, and glorify God in all that we do.
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